Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Why today, why now?

As the rain patters on the windows and I close my yawning mouth, I am wondering why today has been so great, there were times today that I felt all alone, that the pain and the pressure of being "old" is wearing on me.  That fact that I am not married and not close to being married (this all in a culture that preaches marriage and family), yet so want to be married and have a family.  It is this thought that has tears streaming down my face.  I know I need to be patient, but how long is that going to be?  I feel like the kid in the back of the car who keeps asking how much longer, are we there yet?  How many more minutes until we reach our destination.  How many more minutes of crying and weeping must I endure.  Then I started thinking about what has been all over the news lately, and more and more I realize that I might just be seeing the Savior come, and am I ready?  Am I prepared?  Am I worthy?  So many questions so little time....

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Wonderful Wednesday's

So as I may have mentioned I started working in the Temple on Wednesday's in the morning.  The shift goes from 5:30 am to 12 noon.  It has been a great blessing so far.  This week on my "schedule" as you rotate through different things I was a "sealing patron".  Me being new to the whole temple thing didn't know what that meant.  I was super nervous and exciting.  I made my way to 3rd floor of the temple and dressed.  What a wonderful experience.  I was overcome with the spirit and even just reliving this experience right now I am in tears.  May of you know that the spirit is directly related to my tear ducts.  Well sitting there in the sealing room on Wednesday I reflected on my life and where I thought it would go and where it has gone.  The sealer stopped and shared so insight from President Faust which was moving and as we began ordinances again I tried to concentrate on the names and had a prayer in my heart that they would understand what we were doing for them.  At one point at the start of an ordinance I was overcome with the spirit and felt like we were surrounded by those for whom we were preforming the ordinance.  The sealer was overwhelmed and as tears streamed down his face and mine, I knew that family was there.  That they had been waiting, that they were prepared and that joy was breath taking.  I am so thankful for the opportunity that I have to serve in this capacity.  What a wonderful blessing!